A9 Much Ado About Nothing
Yulia Davudi من ⁺Hassar ⁺Baba-čanga في Sydney, Australia
One day mullah Nasradin goes to the market, the town. He says to his wife ‘What do you want me to bring you?’ The wife says ‘həč, həč, həč,’ meaning ‘nothing,’ they say həč, that is ‘nothing.’ Mullah Nasradin immediately he began to go out of the door of the house, started to say ‘həč, həč, həč, həč,’ so that he would not forget it.’ He went and arrived at a place and saw a very large river and people catching fish. They have broken the ice and are fishing. They have broken the ice and are catching fish. The mullah passes by them saying ‘həč, həč, həč, həč’ and these lads are angry. They are tired and thirsty. They confronted the mullah, beating and shaking him. One said ‘Why are you saying həč? Since the morning we have broken this ice and are struggling to catch fish and you say ‘həč, həč.’ He said ‘But what should I say?’ He said ‘Say: irilärdän xərdalardan, small, big, small, big. That is: catch small fish, catch large ones, lots of them.’ The mullah thought that his wife had asked for small and big. He began to go (on his way) and started to say ‘irilärdän xərdalardan, small, big, small, big.’ This time he sees a dead man whom people were taking out to bury, but he is singing and saying ‘small, big, small, big.’ They are weeping and beating their heads, (since) the lad is dead but he is saying ‘small, big, small, big.’ The people who are the family of the dead person come and shake and shake him, they beat him soundly. He says ‘But what shall I say?’ They say ‘Say musulmandər, alla rahmat alasin.’ That means: He is a Muslim, may God grant him rest. He is a Muslim, God grant him rest. He started shouting ‘He is a Muslim, may God grant him rest, but he was thinking that that his wife had asked for ‘He is a Muslim, may God grant him rest.’ He goes, he goes a long way, he goes and sees a dog which is dead and some people have taken hold of its leg and were dragging it and taking it to throw it into a pit to bury it, but he is saying ‘musulmandər, alla rahmat alasin, he is a Muslim, may God grant him rest.’ He came and they beat him soundly, beat him thoroughly and made him all bloody. (One of them) said ‘How can you possibly say to a dog “He is a Muslim, may God grant him rest?” They gave him a sound beating. He got up. The mullah could not move. He could not move. He starting saying again to the dog who had died, he said ‘musulmandər, alla rahmat alasin.’ (They say) ‘Say nothing (həč) again.’ To the dog he said həč. He went back to that (word) həč. He came along slowly (saying) həč, həč, həč, həč. Suddenly he was very tired. He wanted to jump over a stream—there were small streams in the streets. He forgot (the word) həč. He returned home all covered in blood. He said to his wife ‘(When) you do not want, you do not want, you do not want anything, but when you want (something) I have to suffer the beating of the world, but I still do not find it.’ His wife said ‘You are an ass. Do you not know (what I meant), what can I do? I said həč, that means “nothing”. You have made problems for yourself and have suffered beating. It is not my fault.